2 work I say. Let me not stray. Lest my peace of mind will be found in an ashtray. Work!! I have a job and start next monday so congratulate me folks

Love and no pangs of loss...is that normal? I will now discuss this with the various personages in my mind. I think that I have a super power by the way. 2 detach myself quite powerfully from what is going on around me or rather I am quite clueless in seeing the symptoms manifest in unconventional manners.

I am the analytical analyst here me roar and dissect my own brain. My lovely Becky likes to analyse as much as I do. We should make analysing babies, if only that was possible

I didn't do much yesterday, I spent the afternoon chatting with Sharon's ex. I used to think she was the queen of  bitches but she's not. Under her mask there's a heart of gold and its easy 2C how Sharon fell 4 her.The fucking shit thing about it all is she loves Sharon 2. Both of them should have had their heads cracked 2gether 4 letting each other slip from their grasps. One should make allowances as she's American and I have come 2 the conclusion they are crazy 4 electing Bush again. I had 2 laugh at Sharon's image in her journal "The only Bush I trust is my own" and she doesn't have one LMAO. It got me thinking.......

How can hard working blue collar,Americans allow another 4 years of  Bush. The ordinary working class americans can't afford years more of a Republican remaining in the White House. John Kerry would have been much better for them and the world. He is not a war monger, or a rich daddy's boy with a conflict of interest regarding oil, Saddam, and the Powers That Be in the Middle East; Kerry was all about affordable health care, American jobs, protecting Social Security, a cleaner environment, and equal rights for all citizens.

During better days, saying the word "BUSH" was almost always followed by a grin, a wink... it was good. You could say Im going to shave my bush without thinking of that man.

Now, the word "BUSH" makes me want to kick someone in the face.

He has even taken the joy out of saying BUSH! What more will he take away before his bitter end? We will see.

I will love the word Bush again someday, I know.

I feel recovered enough to write here again after taking time out to get my body recharged and fully satisfied. Next week I must make more of an effort to find a new job now Im back in the UK. My thought of the day is about trees 

Trees are truly gorgeous.  I was sitting outside at lunch,
looking up into the trees outside..  The wind was
softly blowing and the leaves were just sway, sway, swaying like gently lapping water.

So beautiful....with specks of blue peeking between the
green leaves.  So beautiful....leaves of all sizes, shaped
similarly but none the same.  So beautiful....powerful
brown branches reaching high for the heavens....ever
hopeful, ever strong, ever uplifted.

So many leaves, more than I could ever count filled my
eyes...all moving like good intentioned busy-bodies
vibrating with excitement of hearing the next gossip while
passing on the old.  Back and forth and up and down.  All
while the branches hold mostly still....watching their
subjects with stoic grace and what I like to think is
slight amusement.

As I sit and watch the trees dancing in the wind...a world
onto themselves...I feel a great peace wash over me.  
I take in a large lungful of the air the trees so lovingly made for creature-kind...and exhale it back into the world to be reborn.
Refreshed...satiated....happy...and at peace....I rest my
eyes and focus on breathing....

I take into my lungs re-energized air that has come from
living beings from before me and around me...it tastes
sweet with the souls of the trees, grasses and plants it
sprang from.  Bits of the world enter my lungs and swirl
around them....bits of the world enter my blood stream and
bring me continued life.  I add my piece and send it back
into the world....sharing, sharing, sharing....this thing
called life.

Fab isn't it the way your family have an unreal effect on u!! Was home all weekend and I can say that just because we r related doesn't mean u can take the mike out of me and my sexuality...enough said.... I feel quite content today. I got an awful amount of stuff done that needed 2b sorted and Im almost ready 2 leave on a jet plane, I won't be back again until Christmas so ru all going 2 miss me....Like fuck u will.  I've booked my flight back 2 London on saturday morning so Becks b prepared 4 a weekend in bed.... Nudge...Nudge. know what I mean

How can ppl effect u so much still when they r so out of your life but still can fuck with your feelings so much? I rang Dx(ex-girlfriend) just 2c how she is,  it was a shitty break up with no closure?? And I told Becky about ringing she got annoyed with me I got annoyed at myself and am not able to contend with all this at the moment, glad that my life is so great now!!! Am 2 old 4 this shit.

need sex
need love
need emotion,
need....
ready steady go...
start the countdown

I forgot how nice it is Becky just 2b near u - not having 2 do something - just being there - like we used 2. I want u2 know that I love u. I miss u more then u could phatham when I am away. I love crawling in 2 bed - and holding u close. I know that u might not think that - I am there enough - I will agree - and I am working on that - I love being near u.

U R beautiful and wonderful

You know I wanted this entry 2b romantic and touching and make u smile.

I love u more then anything 

When I was out the other day - I saw this ring - that jumped out and  said - I think u should get this 4 Becky and I knew that an engagement ring wouldnt b the right thing to call it.. but all i know is that I wanted to give u something 2 symbolize my love 4u that is undying - and always going to continue.

Becky I love u so very much - I am just trying every day 2 show u that.

I miss u when I am away. and I just want 2b close 2u when I am not.

*kisses* '

Fucking shit I made an entire post without swearing and I have a reputation 2 keep up